I had this idea for a blog after the amazing response to my post on Scary Mommy about my daughter:
http://www.scarymommy.com/blurred-gender-lines/
After reading the comments, I thought it would be great to expand on that piece and start a regular blog about my daughter and also feature blogs from @Keris and anybody else who wishes to guest.
This is where we're coming from -
Basically a blog about letting children be who they are and letting them become who they are meant to be. Supporting them and supporting each other. As a parent this can be quite hard at times as we often have ideas of our own and it can be especially tough when other people pass comment.
I wrote a follow up to that original blog here:
http://www.ministryofmum.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/just-me.html
I don't want this blog to necessarily be about children who are gender-nonconforming but it's what I'll be writing about mainly. To be honest, I'm trying to avoid using labels such as gender-creative etc. It annoys me because Lyra is right - she is "just me", she doesn't need to be put into a mould.
So here's a thing - we had some people over the other day viewing our house. Lyra had her hair all tucked up in her hat as usual and was wearing boys clothes. As the people knew nothing about our family, they understandably presumed she was a boy. It was only when they asked her name that I had to tell them that she's a girl, even though she had happily gone along with their questions about football and rugby.
After they left, I asked her how it made her feel when I explained to them that she is in fact a girl.
And you know what - she said she felt bad because she didn't want them to feel embarrassed. She didn't mind at all that they presumed she was a boy. She just felt bad FOR THEM at being corrected.
Which made me think, because it's how I was feeling - but I'm 44 and she's only 8.
It was a proud mummy moment and, for those of you who know me, understand I don't have many of those :-)
I like the idea of this blog, I know a couple of girls who also have adopted male or non-gendered ways of dressing. What worries me is how early children are supposed to adopt feminine or masculine identifiers when they are just.... kids. Let children be? Absolutely
ReplyDeleteMy 5 year old son walks around in his big sister's shoes while carrying his baby doll Alex. Absolutely Let children be...
ReplyDeleteMy 3 year old (boy) found a hair clip left by his cousin and took to wearing it. When he couldn't find it one day he was so upset I said 'We can buy you some hair clips' to which he responded 'please can I have purple ones'. He also wanted a tiara when we were in the shop but I made him choose because the total was £6 which I wasn't prepared to spend that day. I've picked him up a few times from nursery and he's been wearing a princess dress. When I tell people the story most reactions are 'how does his dad take it'. Luckily his dad's attitude is he couldn't care less but I feel sad that there would be a lot of dads that would be completely freaked out.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my daughter braided bracelets for her brother and her male cousin when they were about 6 or son, the father of the cousin was not the least bit impressed that his son was wearing an ankle bracelet. It took a bit of convincing and saying what is the big deal until he finally relented and let his son wear the ankle bracelet. I saw it as a gift my daughter had made for her brother & sister & male cousin, no biggy and that is the way the kids saw it. Some parents are just too uptight.
ReplyDelete